"Green flag or red flag?" is a fun game and a surprisingly useful conversation. You'll agree on most, and the ones you don't agree on are worth talking about.
Dating
- Remembers small details you mentioned once
- Still texts their ex "as friends"
- Plans the second date before the first one ends
- Is rude to the waiter
- Introduces you to friends early
- Has no close friends at all
- Talks about their ex on the first date
- Asks questions and listens to the answers
- Splits the bill without making it weird
- Cancels plans often at the last minute
Everyday
- Leaves the last bit of milk in the carton
- Says sorry when they're wrong
- Keeps their phone face down at dinner
- Never wants to try your food
- Remembers how you take your coffee
- Says "I'm fine" when they're clearly not
- Makes the bed every morning
- Gets grumpy when they're hungry
- Sends you songs that remind them of you
- Needs the TV on to fall asleep
Texting
- Replies "k"
- Sends good morning texts
- Leaves you on read for hours, then posts online
- Sends voice notes longer than two minutes
- Double-texts when excited
- Screenshots your messages to friends
- Uses full stops in every message.
- Remembers to text when they get home safe
- Only texts late at night
- Sends memes instead of talking about feelings
Bigger things
- Supports your goals even when it's inconvenient
- Wants to know your password "just because"
- Gets along with your family
- Keeps score of who did what
- Respects your time alone
- Talks about the future with you in it
- Makes jokes at your expense in front of others
- Apologises without "but"
- Encourages you to see your friends
- Gets defensive about everything
The real red flags
Some things aren't a game. Controlling who you see, checking your phone, threats, constant put-downs or making you afraid are serious warning signs. If that's happening, talk to someone you trust or a local support line.
Play it together
Dating Flags is a free quiz in Pairbond. Everyday Flags and Texting Flags are in Premium. You each decide green or red on your own phone, then compare.