Money is one of the most common things couples argue about, and most of those arguments come from never talking about it calmly. These questions help.
Habits
- Are you a saver or a spender, honestly?
- What's the last thing you bought that you regretted?
- What's something you'll always spend money on?
- How do you feel when you check your bank balance?
- Do you keep a budget? Does it work?
- What's a small daily spend you'd never give up?
Growing up
- How did your family talk about money?
- Did you get pocket money? Did you have to earn it?
- What's a money lesson you learned the hard way?
- What did "rich" mean to you as a kid?
- Did your parents argue about money?
- What's a money habit from your family you want to keep, or drop?
Right now
- Do you have any debt you'd like to tell me about?
- Do you have savings for emergencies?
- How comfortable are you with your income?
- What are you saving for right now?
- Is there any spending of mine that worries you?
- How much could either of us spend without checking with the other?
Together
- Should we have a joint account, separate ones, or both?
- How should we split rent and bills: 50/50 or by income?
- Who pays on dates?
- How should we handle gifts for each other's families?
- How do we decide on big purchases?
- How often should we talk about money?
Future
- What's a big goal you'd like us to save for?
- How do you feel about buying a home?
- When would you like to retire, and how?
- How much would you like to travel, and what's it worth to you?
- How do you feel about lending money to family or friends?
- What does financial security look like to you?
Tips
- Talk when you're calm, not when a bill has just arrived.
- Share numbers, not judgements.
- Agree on one small next step, like a shared savings goal.
Pairbond's Money Talk deck has more questions like these, and the Money & Life Views quiz shows where you agree. Both are in Premium in Pairbond.